I explain what aphorisms are in the introduction to the post just below this one on my “Post Index.” To see that post, click “My Previously-Published Aphorisms” at the bottom of this one under “Related.”
Each Friday, when I upload a new aphorism, I move the previous Friday’s to the end of the aphorisms in that other post. This will keep them in chronological order, and at times they might even seem to grow out of the ones above.
At other times, however, I will simply be adding a thought that occurred to me during the week. And those thoughts might well repeat or even contradict previous thoughts.
But to reiterate what I said at the top of “My Previously Published Aphorisms,” When I work on these aphorisms each morning, I am simply thinking out loud with a 3B pencil and a Moleskine notebook to try to understand what I think about various topics.
I’m toying with that ubiquitous question, “How do I know what I think until I read what I’ve written?”
Please note, though, these are my thoughts and are meant solely for me. I most certainly do not see them as some kind of generalizable truth.
A Pseudo Me
2020 July 10
What do I really want to do?
What do I think I should, ought, had better do? What is the appropriate, acceptable, responsible, reasonable, safe thing to do in this situation?
If I do what I think I should, ought, had better do, though? Does that change me? And if I do change, who or what do I become?
But, but, but! What if I absolutely do not want to change?
What if I really enjoy being me?
What if I never ever want to risk destroying who I truly am?
What if I never ever want to risk alienating my self from my Self?
Instead of trying to figure all that out, however, what if I just do what I really want to do, and those who like the me who does those things can stick around, and we might become friends.
And those who don’t like that me can step away, and we won’t encumber each other with a pseudo friendship based on should, ought, had better social niceties.
Moreover, if I meet people, and they only see the pseudo me, and they like that pseudo me, that fake me, they might want to become friends.
But my real me won’t want to be friends with them.
And the people I would like to become friends with would probably not be interested in that pseudo me, and they’d simply walk away.
And that would be very, very sad.
I’d end up with a pseudo me and pseudo acquaintances all spending time together in a pseudo world.
A perfect definition of the existential vacuum.
A meaningless existence.
A pseudoside without chemicals, or a razor blade, or a gun.
And, as a bonus, if I only did what I really wanted to do, it would save all the angst and sleepless nights from trying to figure out what I should, ought, had better do in some particular situation.
And if I do, indeed, forget about should, ought, had better, I’d have more time to love mySelf, more time to love just being me and doing all the things I really want to do.
(© 2020 Glenn Christianson. All rights reserved.)
But before returning to the Post Index, why not scroll down and leave a comment or a question? And you might also want to check the boxes for “Notify me of follow-up comments by email” and “Notify me of new posts by email.”
Thanks for visiting my website.